Day 34: Beach Fossils – Beach Fossils

3 Apr

Youth

It’s not a good sign when I start playing Words With Friends during the middle of an album.  It’s an even worse sign when I’m so bored that I obsessively check my phone to see if I have any moves to make in Words With Friends during the middle of an album.

Beach Fossil’s self-titled debut can be described in one word: boring.  Imagine Surfer Blood’s really slow songs.  Now make those about a minute too long, then gather eleven of them, put them together in an album, and make the cover a picture of peeling paint.  This is surfer/stoner-rock for octogenarians, who can’t handle a fast tempo, or any diversion from a boring formula for that matter.

Honestly, not one song stands out as particularly bad, because they are all pretty much the same. Jangly, reverb-heavy guitars blend with the unemotional vocals in a way that almost put me to sleep.  Not in a trance, but actually to sleep.

It’s not like I can’t get into mellow music, but I need a little variety every now and then.  Beach Fossils doesn’t come close to offering me that.  I guess if you’re into slow songs that are reminiscent of a really long car ride, Beach Fossils is the perfect album for you.  You’ll get about half an hour of boring, exceptionally similar indie rock songs, and it’ll feel like days have passed by the time you’re done.

I owe a big “thank you” to Words With Friends.  I couldn’t have made it through this album without you.


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