It’s Dad-Rock Tuesday, and I’m thoroughly confused. My inner hipster (which I try my best to suppress) is trying as hard as his jaded little heart will allow him to get me to hate this record. Lyrically, it’s pretty dumb. Musically, it’s cheesy and over the top. It’s also from the 80s, not one of my favorite eras of rock music. I can’t do it, though. Believe it or not, I kind of love Guns N’ Roses’ Appetite for Destruction.
Yeah, I guess it helped that I knew a bunch of tracks going into this listening. Welcome to the Jungle, the iconic opener, has been played at just about every professional sporting event since the beginning of time. Paradise City is a staple of bad radio (which implies that there is also good radio. Heh heh.) Back in the golden Guitar Hero days, I played Sweet Child o’ Mine on expert more than a hundred times, easily. I was the king of that track and its awesome riff on the plastic guitar-shaped controller. It’s clear that Guns N’ Roses have been in my subconscious music library for quite a while now; I might as well embrace them.
Yeah, they’re cheesy. Sometimes, that’s just what you need, though. No, I don’t think lines like “Take me down to the paradise city / where the grass is green and the girls are pretty” is in any way profound or deep. It’s corny, perhaps even a little cringe inducing, but there is no denying that it’s catchy as all hell. As for Sweet Child o’ Mine, I think that scene from Step Brothers speaks for itself.
Swole Ear 
First.
No need to make excuses. It is a fun album. Slash is onto something. You raise the eternal question. Does it have to be profound to be good? I think not. Is Train in Vain the best song on London Calling? It certainly isn’t as profound as anything on Sandanista, but it is a lot more fun to sing.