How does one follow up a post like yesterday’s? A post that hates on an influential band because it’s no longer relevant? With another post about an old, influential record, of course.
I’m sure that you’re all thinking the same thing. Something along the lines of “wait, this guy hates pretty much every old band that he listens to because they’re old. Why should I bother with this post, it’s going to be the same thing all over again.”
Hold on, I’ll tell you why.
Yes, I do hate King Crimson, and I hate their record, In the Court of the Crimson King.
Wait, wait! Bear with me for a moment. I hate this band for an entirely different reason than what you’ve read before.
This record sucks.
Yeah, it’s old. Yes, it’s considered influential. Neither of those affected my perception of In the Court, though. No, no, after about two minutes through the first track, I knew that this record has always sucked. It sucked back in the 60s, and it sure as hell sucks now. Yeah, it will in a hundred years too.
Flute solos. What the hell? No one wants to hear a flute solo. If you say you like this album, you’re lying. By the transitive property, you would have to like long, boring, flute solos, and I know for a fact that you don’t. #truth
It’s not just the flute solos, though. This record has the nerve to go on for 43 minutes, even though it only has five tracks. That’s just obnoxious. Let’s not forget that each and every track could have had 4+ minutes cut, and they all would have been just as boring. Lyrically, everything’s either vague or really repetitive. Even the brilliant, creative line “Yes, I feel tomorrow, I’ll be crying” get’s old after it’s repeated three hundred times.
It’s not that I’m not a fan of prog rock—it’s that I’m not a fan of awful music. This is a record that is showered in nothing but praise, and I don’t understand why. There is nothing redeeming about it.
Swole Ear 