Happy Valentine’s Day! In honor of this most ridonkulous holiday, we will be exploring…wait for it…Mott The Hoople’s All The Young Dudes.
Believe me, I’m just as confused as you are by this one. It is Dad Rock Tuesday, though, and I’m not going to question the man’s fatherly wisdom. While it is completely possible that he didn’t realize this week’s pick would fall on the V-Day, I like to think that every selection of his comes after a week of research and deep thought.
Maybe, by picking such a blasé and unspectacular rock record, he’s acknowledging the derp-tasticness of this holiday. There we go—that’s what I’ll go with. Keep in mind, this album was chosen by the man who inspired me to make a duct tape-covered card receptacle with “Valentine’s Day is a corporate scam” written on the top when I was in third grade.
Anyway, after listening to this record, I’d give you one chance to guess which song was written by David Bowie. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that you would go with “All The Yong Dudes.” Don’t kid yourself; there is a reason that this song was made the title track. In a sea of dull and downright stupid lyrics (the first lines of the song following “Dudes” are “hi there / your friendly neighborhood sadist / wanna take you for a ride”), “All The Young Dudes” is a song that stands out both lyrically and instrumentally.
If you’re looking for another boring rock record from the ’70s, give this one a try. Swaggin’ Heart Day, y’all.
Swole Ear 
Mr. Ear: Thank you for the third-grade story. Very revealing. And appropriate for the brother of the man who was the first I know to publicly speak out against what we were just learning to call “finger food” in 1983. Yes, it was your Uncle B. who loudly proclaimed to an employee of the Carleton food service, “Chicken fingers? Chickens don’t have fingers!” Talk about speaking truth to power!
There is some truth in what you say in your review. The title song is unquestionably head and shoulders better than anything else on the album. I would also argue that it provided the inspiration for Arcade Fire’s “Wake Up”, an argument that is possibly supported by this:
All the same, you are not allowed to stomp on Mott the Hoople. Cuz I say so. They were one of my favorite bands when I was 12. My favorite album of theirs is “The Hoople” (which had been preceded by “Mott”). Oh, the sleepless hours they must have spent to come up with those titles! If you don’t hear a bit of your beloved Foxy Shazam in this, then you just aren’t trying:
A valiant defense, Brother Chops. Young Swole must not have gotten a valentine from his special someone and he was in a mood. I like the Bowie link. How can it be that on a stage with seven people who are each decades his junior, he is still the coolest guy in the room.
Y$, your Bowie point is good. But that video and this one raise another question:
How is it that when Arcade Fire do a song in the style of one of their heroes, they come up with a better Bowie or Springsteen tune than Bowie or Springsteen has in a long, long time?
Because Bowie is old and because Springsteen lost the magic. He was a man who traded on his “authenticity” and then he married a model and it was all over. But, I don’t think this outdoes good Springsteen. I think it sounds a lot like a John Cafferty Springsteen knockoff. Compare it to On the Darkside and you’ll see what I mean.
OK, I listened to your J. Cafferty and his Beaver Browns. Thank you very little. I managed to make it 49 years without hearing his dreck and now all of that out the door. I am not saying “Keep The Car Running” out-Springsteens classic Springsteen but it definitely out-Springsteens most of his post-Tunnel of Love output (I actually like a good chunk of that one) and that is why Bruce got up on stage with The Arcade Fire and not with J. Cafferty. And why D. Bowie did the same.
Oh well, fire up your Korn or your Linkin Park or whatever it is that trips your switch. Mott The Hoople’s worst output will beat most any of the tuneless dreck that passes for rock today.
#ignorance
#youkidsgetoffmylawn
But seriously, welcome to the Swole comment section. If you’re going to spout opinions, I’d suggest that you back them up. And the implication that I listen to Linkin Park and Korn is hilarious–spend 30 seconds looking at the site, and you’ll find that’s not the case.
You also might stumble upon some modern rock that reaches a level a little higher than “tuneless dreck.”
Okay Jacob, I went over your site for over thirty seconds and you do listen to some good stuff. And yes, I spoke out of ignorance.
But I still want you off my lawn.
What’s wrong with Korn. I like Korn. There’s PopKorn and Kandy Korn and Korn on the Cob and Korn Nuts and Carmel Korn and Creamed Korn and Kornbread and Kornhole games and Korndogs and Korn grits and Kornpone and Baby Korn and Kettle Korn and Cheese Korn and Chicago Mix Cheese and Karmel Korn and Korn Chowder and Jiffy Pop.
And Linkin Park has a really nice zoo and it’s still free to the public.